Monday, April 27, 2009

What are you doing after the orgy? (A study in blog wank)


The Orgy,

What a complex sexual excursion of symbiotic passion. An enigma of etiquette that perplexes the already fragile do's and don't's manner of intercourse with a stranger...
Orgies are best talked about yet never partaken in. The avenues of nervous disaster that await the individual who dreams of communal sexual excretment are ones lined with twenty minutes of lame jokes, five minutes of clothes searching and thirty to forty minutes of struggled conversation over tea in the kitchen as you all try to come to grips with what was struck and stuck, where, and by whom, until one person plucks up the courage to end the nauseating feeling of guilt and self loathing by making moves towards home. Upon returning the individual may cry themselves to sleep in a bath of cold water, using the torn shower curtain as a blanket that may, somehow, withold some elements of their lost innocence. Dragging a pointed knuckle from socket to socket, scraping tears from eyes that have been aggravated by the smoke that pores from the wastebin of flaming, juice-stained garments sleep creeps slowly. Yet their dreams are haunted by giant cocks, vaj's and arses that chase them down sand dunes till their body turns into wax and they melt into the sand from a combination of sun and private part friction...

Thoughts?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Plato of the Punchbowl


Final Scenes to "The Plato of the Punchbowl"

A silent play that focuses on the thought process of a young Basque backpacker (Marquez) and his struggles to regain the innocence of youth. The author, Eddie McGoldrick (1965-1998), stressed before his untimely death to knee ligament damage that Marquez was to be played by a man resembling a mix of Mike Baldwin (1940-2006) and Francisco de Rojas Zorrilla (1607-1660). This was undoubtedly an attack on Zorrilla as the warped mind of ligamentlar McGoldrick, felt that Baldwin was the epitome of uncouthness and crassness. McGoldrick believed Zorilla had been stealing his ideas for plays through the mind of Steve Bould (whom he regularly consultated for opinion with early drafts of his work) despite the fact Francisco had died over three hundred years before his birth. Conspiracy theories still surrond the mystery of the Bould/Zorillas phenomenon as Bould displays almost telekinithic powers in the youth development process of Arsenal F.C by distinguishing who is going to be part of the Gooner's 2010 European Cup Unbeatables side. The final two scenes of the play are an account of how Marquez, bouyed by the confidence of three pints of Guinness, comes to terms with his position in life and realises that moving forward is more important than moving back. Once more it must be taken into account that McGoldrick provided only basic direction for his plays as he felt that elements like dialogue hindered a characters development.

"Many times have i reviewed the works of lterary greats akin to Brendan O'Carroll, Brendan O'Connor and Brendan O'Brien (an underated itenirent writer from Mountbolous Co.Offaly) and felt their work was hindered by their lack of narrative and overuse of dialogue. Far to many women and Jews also..." Eddie McGoldrick 23/10/1994 pre-Arsenal v Coventry game...

Act 3 Scene 3

Marquez, armed with a belly full of Guinness and a mind warped by the 'craic' hugs the bannister of the stairs. Back to the wall, he greets those who pass him with a nod and a simple shuffle of the eyebrows. Slowly placing one foot in front of the other he navigates his way to the middle of the stairs till he slips and his arse completes the journey for him. Sliding past framed photo's of Jay Mascis and that twat from The Frames, Marquez wonders how his evening degraded to such a level of distinct Irish debauchery. It seemed like three Spanish summers since he and Adriana were in the Four Courts Hostel scraping the man-dung from their matress before making love in the cool North Dublin air. How he longed for her assistence as he peeled himself off the floor and made his may towards the toilets...

Act 3 Scene 4

Hands outstrched Marquez bursts through the doors. The stale stench of salty urine somewhat sobers him. Venturing towards one of the vacant cubicles he begins to unbuckle his pants in anticipation of release. Sadly the cubicles are all full and Marquez stands grasping his pants till he hears the sound of a flushing toilet and a stall becomes vacant. Shuffelling past the previous ejector, Marquez makes himself comfortable on the porcelain bowl. (Fade to black with loud groans for ten to fifteen minutes).

Act 3 Scene 5

(Fade back to normal lighting)

Wiping tears from his eyes Marquez reaches into his pocket and withdraws a pen. "Follow your bliss-Whatever the fuck that means" is slowly scribbled to on the walls. With this burst of emotion Marquez breaks down as the curtains drop...

FIN?
Plato of the Punchbowl is running from the 1st till the 10th of June in Gort Community Centre with Matinees running from 1 p.m and the evening show running at 7 p.m.
Additional entertainment provided by the Lady Gregory FunkHouse Quintet Vs W.B Yeats WestSide Massive.
All refreshments will be provided by Supermacs. Seagull breast avaliable upon request...